Beginner's Tantra - Step Two

Beginner's Tantra - Step Two

Are you ready for the next step in learning how to incorporate tantric sex into your relationship?

Are you SURE you're ready? It might be more difficult for some than others, depending on how often you and your partner are used to sharing intimate time together.

First, you and your partner have to agree to spend a set period of time abstaining from intercourse. The exact time frame, whether a few days, a week, or a couple of weeks, is not as important as what you do with the time you set aside. While abstaining is key, it is not the end goal. Instead, abstaining is meant to help you and your partner take more time to learn more about each other, develop a deeper connection, and heighten pleasure when you do succumb to your desires.

Once you determine a time frame, set aside an hour each day, just for you and your partner. Be flexible with your time frame for abstinence, but not with your daily time. It's okay to shorten your period of abstinence, if you and your partner decide it's best, but don't shortchange your daily time together. Use daily time to learn about what your partner finds most pleasurable. The idea is to build anticipation, teasing, touching and arousing each other, while developing a deeper understanding of your partner's sexual self.

Some ideas for stoking the fire between you while you abstain:

  • Learn the fine art of kissing. There are many, many types of kisses – the slow, sensual kiss; the deep, passionate kiss; kisses that are tender and affectionate; kisses that are wild and demanding. And kissing isn't limited to just your partner's lips. Find all of your partner's spots, using nothing more than your lips – no other touching. Draw out the sensual side of both you and your partner, with nothing more than a kiss.

  • Learn how to communicate with your partner about what you each enjoy in terms of sensual touches. If verbal communication is uncomfortable at first, a sensual, yet delicate and guided touch can speak volumes. For some couples, openly discussing sex and sexual pleasure becomes easier in small stages. Be patient with each other and remember, the goal is to develop a deeper understanding and connection, so comfort and openness in your communication is important.

  • Read together. Find a romance novel, collection of erotic stories, or other literature that you can share during your daily time. Take turns reading to each other and explore what thoughts, feelings and emotions the stories evoke in each other. While you're reading, pause to look at each other, share an embrace, or curl up together. Sharing an erotic tale while maintaining intimate body contact can be a heady experience!